worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
