So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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