sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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