So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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