Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
