Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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