he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
