I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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