so explain again why im purple
no
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
