I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize