wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
only if we run a train.
done.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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