Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
