i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
