It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
