Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
