So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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