we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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