how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
