She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
