Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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