May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
