Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
