kristin has been a bad kristin
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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