It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
