i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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