He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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