If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
