she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
