Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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