Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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