i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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