ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
