Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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