And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
