oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
