who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
