if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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