He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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