Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
