Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
