I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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