Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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