Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
