hell yes lets make some ravioli
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize