Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Your tits are I can't wait for
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
