I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize