How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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