If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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