After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
