he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize