How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize