I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
