Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
worst night to have a conscience
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
