This girl is more easily done than said...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
