I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
