I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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