It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize