she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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