one might say we're banned from that church
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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