Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
