OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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